10 Signs of Unhealthy Codependent Behavior and How to Change It


Codependent behavior can lead to toxic relationships, thus, it is extremely important to spot the signs of it.

Codependent behavior is a learned experience. For example, if a child sees his parents being in abusive and toxic relationships, it is very likely that he will grow up and will get involved in toxic relationships, as well.

Below is a list of 10 signs of unhealthy codependent behavior to watch out for.

  1. Always being concerned about pleasing others. People who are codependent usually overlook their own needs in order to make sure that other people are happy or they do exactly what others ask them to in order not to let them down.
  2. Having difficulty saying no or expressing their preferences. Codependent people believe that if they asked what they wanted, they would be harshly judged by others. They also think that if they told their opinion, they would be rejected.
  3. Dysfunctional communication. Such people also don’t talk about their needs, feelings or wishes because they don’t want to bother others. Therefore, their communication is based on dishonesty and confusion.
  4. Low self-esteem. Codependent people care about other people’s opinions about them. Thus, their opinion about themselves depends a lot on other people’s approval.
  5. Fear of being rejected or abandoned. Codependent people hate spending time alone. They get anxious and stressed when they are by themselves. Thus, they always want to be surrounded by other people.
  6. Denial. If they have problems in their relationships, such people don’t admit it. They want to believe that their relationships are perfect and they never confront their partners.
  7. They spend their time trying to change their partners or other people. Codependent people believe that they can change other people.
  8. Weak or no limits. Codependent people believe that they are the reason of other people’s problems. They are too emphatic and because of such weakness, they soak in other people’s negativity quite easily.
  9. They are still trapped in an unsatisfactory relationship. Their relationships are often abusive and ignorant. However, codependent people don’t do anything in order to change it or run away from it because they don’t want to be alone or because they don’t have the courage to face their problems.
  10. Control. Codependent people control others because it makes them more secure.