Years after leaving the infamous Playboy Mansion, former Bunny Carla Howe has come forward with a chilling account of her time under Hugh Hefner’s rule — and one encounter she describes as “so disgusting I still can’t talk about it without feeling sick.” Her shocking revelation comes as new details continue to emerge from women who lived inside the mansion during its darkest, most secretive years.
“I thought it would be glamorous,” Howe said in an interview with Rolling Stone. “I was young, naive, and believed everything the world told me about Playboy. But what I found inside was completely different — it was control, fear, and disgust.”
Howe, now 34, says her story is not about revenge, but about survival. She describes a particular night she will never forget — one that still wakes her up in the middle of the night more than a decade later. “It was one of Hef’s private ‘movie nights,’” she recalled. “Except it wasn’t a movie. It was humiliation dressed as entertainment.”
“Former Playboy Bunny says one ‘disgusting’ sex act with Hefner still haunts her years later.” @Variety
According to Howe, the women were often instructed to perform specific sex acts while Hefner “directed from the bed like a film producer.” “He told us what to do, where to look, and how to moan,” she told The Guardian. “He treated it like choreography, but it wasn’t — it was disgusting. He asked me to do something so degrading, I froze. I remember thinking, ‘This can’t be happening.’”
She didn’t describe every detail publicly, but said the experience left her “traumatized and ashamed.” “I felt like I wasn’t even a person anymore,” she said. “Just another thing he owned.”
Howe said that the incident changed her view of herself completely. “I used to think I was empowered. I used to tell my friends I was living the dream,” she explained to Rolling Stone. “But after that night, I stopped looking in mirrors. I didn’t want to see that version of me.”
“‘It wasn’t freedom — it was ownership.’ — Ex-Playboy Bunny Carla Howe on her years inside the mansion.” @guardian
Her account echoes the disturbing stories featured in the A&E docuseries Secrets of Playboy, which exposed the exploitation and manipulation many women endured behind the gates of Hefner’s iconic mansion. Several former girlfriends, including Holly Madison and Sondra Theodore, have described similar nights where “consent felt meaningless” and “saying no wasn’t an option.”
“You couldn’t refuse him,” Howe said. “If you did, you were done. No more allowance, no more parties, no more invitations. He controlled everything — even the air you breathed.”
She described a world of carefully maintained illusions, where women were praised for compliance and punished for independence. “The smiling girls you saw in magazines were dying inside,” she said. “We were taught to keep our mouths shut and our lips glossy.”
“‘The smiling girls you saw in Playboy were dying inside.’ — Former Bunny on the mansion’s dark truth.” @people
Hefner, who died in 2017, has long been accused of masking misogyny and control under the guise of sexual liberation. Following the docuseries, the Playboy organization released a statement acknowledging that the company “does not condone or defend the actions of its founder” and that “the women’s stories deserve to be heard and believed.”
“For decades, we were told Playboy was empowering women,” Howe said. “But real empowerment doesn’t mean pretending to enjoy being treated like property. It means saying, ‘This was wrong.’”
According to CNN, more than a dozen former Bunnies have since come forward with allegations of coercion, manipulation, and psychological abuse. Some describe being pressured into sex acts for magazine features or financial incentives. “It was a culture of silence,” Howe said. “If you spoke up, you disappeared.”
“‘He smiled through it all — like it was art. It was abuse.’ — Ex-Playboy model speaks out.” @CNN
Howe now lives in London and runs her own wellness and empowerment brand. She says speaking out has helped her regain control of her story. “For years, I felt dirty and ashamed,” she admitted. “Now I know the shame wasn’t mine — it was his.”
Her courage has inspired an outpouring of support from former models and fans alike. Many have shared their own experiences under the #HearTheBunnies hashtag, calling for greater accountability in industries that glorify exploitation. “She’s brave for telling the truth,” one supporter wrote on X. “It takes guts to call out a legend when the world still worships him.”
When asked what she would say to her younger self, Howe’s eyes filled with tears. “I’d tell her to run,” she said quietly. “Run before the lights blind you. Run before the cameras flash. Run before you forget who you are.”
“‘Run before the lights blind you.’ — Former Playboy Bunny Carla Howe sends message to her younger self.” @Reuters
Today, she says, the mansion that once symbolized fame and desire now stands as a graveyard of illusions. “We were told it was heaven,” she said. “But it was hell disguised as luxury.”
And though Hefner’s empire has since tried to reinvent itself for a new era, women like Carla Howe are ensuring the truth isn’t forgotten. “I’m not telling this story for pity,” she said. “I’m telling it because no woman should ever have to go through what we did — and call it a dream.”
