Neil Patrick Harris Shares Why He Chooses Not to Know the Biological Parentage of His Twins


Neil Patrick Harris, celebrated for his roles in popular television and film projects like How I Met Your Mother and Gone Girl, has spoken candidly about his decision not to uncover which of his twins is biologically his. His perspective on this deeply personal choice sheds light on his priorities as a father and partner.

A Multifaceted Career and Advocacy

Neil Patrick Harris has made his mark as a versatile actor, winning accolades such as a Tony Award and five Primetime Emmy Awards. Beyond his professional success, Harris is a trailblazer for LGBTQ+ representation in Hollywood. As one of the first openly gay actors to start a family with a same-sex partner, he paved the way for more inclusivity and acceptance.

Since 2004, Harris has been in a relationship with David Burtka, who is not only his husband but also a co-parent and life partner. The couple’s journey began with friendship and eventually blossomed into a committed relationship that became public in 2007.

Harris publicly came out as gay in 2006, describing himself as “a very content gay man living my life to the fullest.” He expressed his happiness in being able to share his life with someone he loved and appreciated the support from both his industry and fans.

Building a Family Together

Harris and Burtka shared a desire for parenthood from the outset of their relationship. Their conversations about having children began as early as their first date, highlighting their shared vision for the future. In 2010, this dream became a reality when the couple welcomed twins, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace, born via surrogacy.

The process of having their children involved both Harris and Burtka contributing sperm, with the hope that both embryos would successfully take. Harris described the experience as miraculous, marveling at how both embryos developed into the two children they now cherish.

On social media, Harris announced the twins’ arrival with humor and joy, capturing the exhilaration of becoming a parent for the first time. Over the years, the family dynamic has been one of warmth and mutual support, with Harris and Burtka frequently sharing glimpses of their life as a family.

Parenting Teenagers and the Bond They Share

Now that their twins are teenagers, Harris and Burtka continue to enjoy a strong bond with their children. In interviews, they describe their kids as “good” and express gratitude for the effort they have put into raising them. Harris even joked about the typical teenage rebellion, saying they haven’t yet experienced the stage where their children “hate them.”

Both parents credit their parenting approach for the harmonious family environment they’ve cultivated, emphasizing the rewards of consistent effort and love.

Why Biological Origins Don’t Matter

The question of biological parentage inevitably arises in families built through surrogacy. However, for Harris, this detail is inconsequential. He remains firm in his belief that he and Burtka are equally their children’s parents, regardless of genetics.

Reflecting on this topic, Harris stated, “I have no interest in finding out. We are their parents, and I love them implicitly.” His perspective underscores the idea that the essence of family lies in love and commitment rather than biology.

Though some fans enjoy speculating about which child resembles which parent, Harris himself avoids engaging in these conversations. For him, the focus remains on the shared joy of parenting and the unique bond he and Burtka have with their children.

A Legacy of Love and Acceptance

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka’s journey as parents highlights the evolving definition of family. By choosing to prioritize love, connection, and shared responsibility over biological specifics, they set an inspiring example for families of all kinds.

Their openness about their parenting experience continues to resonate with fans and admirers, reinforcing the belief that family is defined by the love you share rather than the genes you pass on.