The discussion surrounding parental boundaries and consent has long been a hot-button issue, but recent comments by an educator have ignited a particularly intense debate. The controversial statement, suggesting that parents should ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers, has sparked a social media firestorm, dividing opinions and leading to widespread backlash.
The claim was made by Deanne Carson, a self-described s**uality expert and educator, who believes that parents should establish a culture of consent from the earliest stages of a child’s life. Her remarks, made during a segment on ABC News about consent laws, have drawn a mix of shock, criticism, and even support from various corners of the internet.
The Controversial Argument: Building a “Culture of Consent”
Carson’s belief is rooted in the idea that teaching consent should begin in infancy. During her appearance on the program, she gave an example of how parents could apply this practice in their everyday routines:
“I’m going to change your diaper now. Is that OK?”
She acknowledged that a newborn or infant would not verbally respond to such a question. However, she argued that the key is in observing the baby’s body language and nonverbal cues.
“If you pause, wait for eye contact, and allow space for a response, you’re reinforcing the idea that their reaction matters,” she explained.
Her perspective is based on the notion that children should be raised with an understanding that they have autonomy over their bodies. By modeling respectful communication early on, Carson believes children will grow up with a stronger sense of bodily autonomy and an understanding of consent in all aspects of life.
An Immediate and Intense Backlash
The internet erupted in response to Carson’s comments, with many people ridiculing the idea and labeling it as impractical. Parents, educators, and everyday social media users were quick to voice their disapproval, arguing that asking a baby for permission to change a diaper is unnecessary, if not absurd.
One critic expressed disbelief, writing:
“I can remember saying things like, ‘Time for a clean diaper!’ or ‘Let’s get you fresh and comfy!’ But asking an infant for consent? That’s taking things way too far.”
Another user added:
“Babies communicate in their own way. If they’re crying because their diaper is wet or dirty, that’s already them giving consent for a change. We don’t need to overcomplicate this.”
One person humorously questioned the logic of the approach:
“So if the baby says no, do we just leave them in a soiled diaper? This is where common sense needs to kick in.”
Critics argue that Carson’s suggestion borders on unrealistic, as infants lack the ability to fully comprehend the concept of consent. Some believe that overanalyzing routine caregiving activities could create unnecessary confusion in parenting practices.
Supporters Speak Out: The Case for Early Consent Education
While the backlash was loud and swift, Carson’s viewpoint was not without its supporters. Some individuals, particularly those in early childhood education and advocacy, defended her perspective, stating that while the approach may not be literal, it promotes a broader conversation about raising children with a strong sense of personal boundaries.
One supporter shared:
“I fully support the idea of creating a culture of consent. Teaching children that their opinions matter, even in small moments, helps them understand their own autonomy later in life.”
Another individual with experience in childcare added:
“I may not ask for consent in the way Carson suggests, but as an early childhood educator, I always communicate my intentions before changing a diaper. It’s about respecting the child, no matter how young.”
Expert Perspectives: The Debate on Consent and Boundaries
As the controversy gained momentum, experts in child psychology and parenting weighed in on the discussion.
Katie Russell, a spokesperson for an advocacy group focused on preventing s**ual violence, defended Carson’s comments, stating:
“She’s making a very reasonable case for establishing consent-based communication early in life. This isn’t about needing verbal agreement from a baby but about creating an environment where children understand that they have agency over their own bodies.”
Similarly, parenting coach Julie Romanowski highlighted the importance of respecting a child’s personal space from an early age. She compared the diaper-changing scenario to another common situation:
“Asking a child for a hug rather than insisting on one is a form of respect. It doesn’t matter if they’re small; it’s about setting the foundation for future interactions and teaching them that they have control over what happens to their bodies.”
Deanne Carson Responds to the Backlash
Amid the uproar, Carson herself took to the internet to clarify her remarks, explaining that her intention had been largely misunderstood.
Writing in a public response, she expressed disappointment over the overwhelmingly negative reactions and revealed that she had even received hateful messages following her comments.
“The point of my comment was never to suggest that parents must receive a baby’s verbal permission before changing a diaper,” she clarified.
“When it comes to health, hygiene, and safety, some things are non-negotiable. However, the goal is to model active communication in moments where a child is in a vulnerable position, so they grow up understanding their right to bodily autonomy.”
Carson further elaborated that the idea is to create an environment where children recognize that their voices matter from the very beginning.
“This is about demonstrating respect. It’s about fostering a family culture where children learn—through small, everyday interactions—that their boundaries should be honored.”
The Bigger Picture: Consent, Parenting, and Social Norms
The debate surrounding Carson’s statement highlights a broader conversation about parenting styles, consent education, and evolving societal norms.
While the idea of asking babies for permission before changing their diapers may seem extreme to some, the underlying message is one that many experts agree on: teaching children about personal boundaries from an early age is essential.
The discussion also raises questions about how parenting approaches vary across cultures and generations. What was once considered a normal parenting practice may now be viewed through a more modern lens, with greater emphasis on communication and respect for a child’s autonomy.
Where Do Parents Stand?
As with any parenting debate, opinions remain deeply divided. Some parents see Carson’s perspective as an insightful step toward raising empowered children, while others view it as unnecessary overcomplication of basic caregiving.
Regardless of where one stands on the issue, the conversation has sparked meaningful discussions about how we communicate with our children, the ways we teach respect, and how we establish early lessons in autonomy.
Whether Carson’s approach will be widely adopted or continue to face resistance, one thing is certain—it has challenged many to rethink the way they interact with their children and has placed the topic of early consent education firmly in the spotlight.