A young woman has come forward with the heartbreaking and disturbing truth behind why she made the horrifying decision to remove her own eyes.
Kaylee Muthart, a South Carolina native, had once been a bright and promising student with a strong academic record. She was a member of the National Honor Society and had dreams of pursuing marine biology. However, her life took an unimaginable turn after falling into a spiral of substance abuse and mental health struggles, which ultimately led to a terrifying psychotic episode.
A Promising Student’s Life Begins to Unravel
During her teenage years, Kaylee was known for her academic excellence, maintaining straight A’s and displaying an undeniable passion for learning. However, her life started to shift when she found herself working long hours to save money for a car while simultaneously dealing with a heart arrhythmia—an irregular heartbeat that sometimes made her feel physically weak. The stress from balancing work and health concerns caused her grades to decline, and rather than risk further damage to her academic standing, she made the difficult decision to leave school midway through her eleventh-grade year.
Despite this setback, Kaylee remained determined to pursue her education in the future, hoping to secure a scholarship for college and study marine biology, a subject she had long been fascinated by. But as time went on, her path veered further and further from her original goals.
Experimentation with Drugs Opens a Dark Door
By the time she turned 18, Kaylee had begun drinking socially and smoking marijuana regularly. She was aware of her family’s history with addiction, which made her cautious about experimenting with harder substances. For a long time, she avoided anything she considered a “serious drug.” However, when she was 19, an unexpected and life-changing event occurred.
One day, while smoking weed with an acquaintance, she experienced an unusual high that felt drastically different from anything she had felt before. It was an altered state of consciousness that she had never encountered. Later, she suspected that the marijuana had been laced with another substance, possibly cocaine or methamphetamine.
The experience left her deeply shaken, but what stood out to her most was the sense of intense spiritual connection she felt. A devout believer, Kaylee interpreted this high as bringing her closer to God. But instead of serving as a warning sign, this altered state of mind sparked a dangerous curiosity within her.
Feeling betrayed by the friend who had given her the laced marijuana, she decided to cut ties and leave her job, isolating herself from her previous social circles. However, she never returned to school, and without a structured path ahead, her life began to spiral.
The Path Toward Addiction and Mental Decline
As she struggled with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness, Kaylee turned to substances for comfort. What started as occasional marijuana use quickly escalated into heavier drug consumption. She began taking Xanax, a prescription drug known for its calming effects, to ease her anxiety. However, it was not long before her dependency deepened.
After experiencing a painful breakup, her emotional turmoil intensified. Though she secured a new job, she still felt a lingering sense of emptiness that she couldn’t shake. Remembering how the laced marijuana had made her feel connected to something greater, she sought out that feeling once more.
At the end of August, she made a fateful decision—she tried methamphetamine for the first time. The drug’s effects were immediate and intense, causing her to hallucinate and compulsively pick at her own skin, leaving wounds all over her body. Embarrassed by the visible marks, she avoided going to work and soon lost her job.
Despite this terrifying experience, she didn’t completely abandon meth. Instead, she turned to another drug—ecstasy—which she took while studying the Bible. But rather than providing clarity, the drug further distorted her perception of reality. She misinterpreted the scripture she was reading, convincing herself that methamphetamine would bring her even closer to God.
A Downward Spiral and a Mother’s Desperate Plea
Over the next few months, her addiction worsened. She began using meth more frequently, progressing from smoking it to snorting it and eventually injecting it. She was taking as much as she could, whether alone or with others.
Her mother, Katy Tompkins, recognized the severity of the situation and desperately tried to intervene. However, without concrete evidence that Kaylee was a danger to herself or others, she was unable to force her daughter into rehab or a psychiatric facility.
Despite her mother’s concerns, Kaylee insisted that she had her drug use “under control.” She deliberately avoided speaking to her family but eventually agreed to meet with her mother. During this conversation, she unknowingly provided the proof her mother needed. She spoke about the world being “too evil” and expressed thoughts that alarmed her mother so much that she secretly recorded their conversation, hoping it could be used to get a court order for involuntary commitment.
Kaylee agreed to enter rehab the following week, but before she could, she relapsed, taking the largest dose of meth she had ever consumed.
The Psychotic Episode That Changed Everything
The next morning, still under the influence, Kaylee wandered to a railroad track. She was experiencing severe hallucinations and felt an overwhelming sense of divine responsibility. In her altered state, she believed that in order to save the world, a great sacrifice had to be made—by her.
She convinced herself that if she did not act immediately, the world would come to an end. Without hesitation, she began gouging out her own eyes, using her thumbs and fingers to pry them from their sockets. The drugs numbed any sensation of pain, allowing her to continue the horrific act.
As she screamed, “I want to see the light!” a local pastor heard her cries and rushed to restrain her before she could cause further harm. When he reached her, she was still holding onto her detached eyeballs, which, despite being severely damaged, were somehow still partially connected.
Paramedics arrived and sedated her before airlifting her to a hospital in Greenville, South Carolina. At that very moment, her mother was at the courthouse, trying to secure the necessary paperwork to have her committed—but it was too late.
A New Beginning Despite the Darkness
Doctors performed emergency surgery to remove what was left of her eyes, taking precautions to prevent infection and preserve her optic nerves as much as possible. Though she was offered medication to manage the pain during her week-long hospital stay, she only accepted it a few times, determined to stay off drugs for good.
Following her release, she was admitted to a psychiatric facility, where she was formally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It became clear that her substance abuse had intensified underlying mental health struggles, contributing to the delusions that led to her self-inflicted injury.
Although Kaylee now faces the challenges of living without sight, she remains optimistic about her future. She has completely turned her life around, focusing on healing and self-improvement. Remarkably, she still dreams of pursuing marine biology, refusing to let her past define her.
Reflecting on her journey, she says, “It took losing my sight to bring me back to the right path, but from the bottom of my heart, I’m so glad I’m here.”